Thursday, 4 June 2015

Shifting away from survival mode? Um, nope!

So...I note that my last post was about all the books I was going to read in 2015! (And didn't.)

To be fair, I have read a few books.

But at the moment, the things I am making sure I do is eat and sleep. And no, I'm not pregnant.

Oh yes, and sometimes I even clean.

You know that time when you have two kids under the age of two, or a newborn in a family of three, and you are smack bang in the middle of survival mode for a long time.....

And that law, I've forgotten to whom it's attributed, where as soon as you have time, you fill it up with something?

My girls are now 10 and a half, 9, 4 and a half and 2 years old. And I feel like I'm in survival mode. (I haven't even blogged in months!!!! Although I don't think anyone noticed!!!) How did this happen?

When 4thSister was in day nursery for one day, I felt it was cheating to sit and watch Downton Abbey or Call the Midwife on catch-up TV, so now I'm a volunteer ward visitor for the Chaplaincy at our local hospital one morning a week. When I say local, it takes at least 1.5 hrs door to door to get there in a morning, and by the time I get back it's almost time to pick the kids up from school, so bang goes getting else done on a Tuesday.

And the last few months of 2015 haven't disappeared, but being affirmed by the Diocesan Director of Ordinands that I likely do have a calling to the priesthood has meant a whole lot of extra study...

And I'm now leading our Junior Church once a month...

And I'm now on the leading and preaching rota....

Which means I am writing sermons, which because I have the luxury, takes more than a 5 hour day....

And the one time I sat down to read a theological book before bedtime, I ended up spending pastoral care time with my ten year old...

So novels, and even parenting manuals, can pretty much do one!

I feel I've missed out so much, like the dance show 2nd and 3rdSister did for which I ended up doing about ten hours worth of costume sewing (and I don't do sewing), and the concert I had a (extremely tiny) solo in that took a lot of rehearsal time, and the time I'm trying to spend cooking semi-wholesome food for a family of 6 and discourage a 2 year old from potty training herself RIGHT THIS MINUTE because I haven't got the time to supervise accidents.....but that would probably just transfer my anxiety to you!

But let's just say -

It feels right - or I wouldn't be doing it.

God makes time for everything, or gets someone else to do it (thanks, FabDad.)

There really is a season for everything.

Even though I feel I should be out of survival mode, I HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD and even if I only had a 2 year old and no other children, I would probably feel the same!

And finally - I read two really good science fiction books - The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester and A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine l'Engle, which I thoroughly recommend. And also Playful Parenting, which is encouraging in that it helps me interact with the children rather than, erm, clean. And there's been some theological reading along the way. And nobody, nobody but me is counting.

Amen.

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